Why Do We Argue? — Rune Reading

You can give in today and still feel angry tomorrow. If you say yes just to keep the house quiet, your partner may never know how much you resent it. A small thing can then set you off again. Why Do We Argue is a free online rune reading about when you ignore your own wishes and what each of you tries to protect. Choose five runes and consider the familiar fight from a little further away. Start with what happens to you. When does your voice sharpen, why do you keep pushing your point, and how do you feel when your partner will not budge? Then consider what feeds the anger and what you can both rely on when you want to walk out of the room. Think about a step you can take yourself without asking the other person to guess your thoughts. You could say what you can agree to and where you need to draw a line. If you need time to cool down, say when you can return to the subject. Use the texts to question familiar words and habits. Runes cannot decide who should give in or how you should live together. You know what happens in your home and can choose a small step you will be able to repeat tomorrow.

What the reading reveals

  1. Why do we keep arguing?

    You have already promised each other you would stop arguing about this. Why the familiar subject makes you dig in again, even though you are both tired of fighting.

  2. When do I ignore my own wishes?

    You agreed to keep the peace and felt angry all evening. Where you say yes against your wishes, and why your partner struggles to see that you wanted to say no.

  3. What adds fuel to our anger?

    Sometimes you have almost calmed down when a single remark sets you off again. What makes the anger grow, and why it feels so hard to stop yourself in that moment.

  4. What helps us stand together?

    There is something here that makes you want to stay beside each other. What you can both rely on when trying to get your own way only hurts the person you love.

  5. How can I keep my temper?

    The sharp words are already on your tongue, though you know where this evening is headed. What you can do yourself before saying something you will regret tomorrow.

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When to do a reading

I give in and resent it later

You agreed to spend the weekend with your partner's family, though you wanted to stay home. On the drive every little thing annoys you. They cannot work out what changed because you said it was fine that morning. You are angry that you never said no.

We cannot stop once we start

You both said it was time to stop. Then someone brings up an old incident and your voices rise again. You spend the night trying to prove a point. By morning you have work to get to, but the words you could have left unsaid are still in your head.

The same fight keeps coming back

Three months ago you argued about chores and wrote a list together. It is still pinned inside the cupboard. Now you are furious about the full sink again, and the list feels useless. How did you end up back in the place you both wanted to leave?

Neither of us will budge

Your partner wants a holiday by the sea. You would rather spend two weeks in the countryside. Each insists their choice is easier and cheaper. The longer you argue, the less you want to go anywhere together. You had both looked forward to this all year.

I want to act differently at home

On your way home you decide to let the small things go tonight. Then you see clothes on the floor and hear your own voice sharpen. Later you feel ashamed and go to hug your partner. What would help you avoid repeating the same evening tomorrow?